i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
