I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
