no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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