i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
