She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
