She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
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