It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
