I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
