just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
