And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷ðŸ»â€â™€ï¸
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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