Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
