He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Randomize
