man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
love makes seman taste better
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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