just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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