Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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