I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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