there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
