Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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