If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
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