When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
