So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
