i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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