well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Randomize
