You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
this hospital has no fireball
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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