i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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