grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I cut my penus on the lid.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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