what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
He kissed a someone with a penis
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Randomize
