I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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