the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
