I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
