I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
