Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
