I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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