everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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