so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
