I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
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