Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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