Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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