she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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