They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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