from now on my penis is your penis
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Just high enough for therapy.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
