Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
