Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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