After last night, I could never be a politician.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
