butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
