Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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