How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
