the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
