Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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