she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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