So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
