I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Randomize
