You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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