If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
